Language and Emotions in Negotiations

Have you ever told someone in a negotiation that you thought they were being unfair?  My research (with Jon Bain-Chekal and David Caldwell) has shown that the words and phrases we choose to use during a negotiation interaction can trigger an emotional reaction in the other party, which can negatively impact the relationship and the outcome of the interaction.   The emotions most likely to be evoked were anger and frustration.  We were not able to find any words that evoked positive emotions.  Of the different types of words and phrases we identified, those that labeled the other party negatively or told the other party what he or she should do, triggered the greatest anger and frustration.  

It is important to recognize the words we use that can trigger these negative emotions in the other party and try to avoid using them.  The following is a list of some of the more common words and phrases that negotiators use that may have a negative impact on the interaction:

“Yes, but…”
“In all due respect…”
“I’m trying to make you understand”
 “Honestly”
“Obviously”
“You should…”
“This is how we have always done it”
“I’m being reasonable”
“This is a good deal”

Holly Schroth, Senior Lecturer, Haas School of Business, UC Berkeley
Check out our intensive two day Negotiations class at UC Berkeley: www.galimagroup.com/negotiations

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 at 9:15 am and is filed under Negotiations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.