Language and Emotions in Negotiations

Have you ever told someone in a negotiation that you thought they were being unfair?  My research (with Jon Bain-Chekal and David Caldwell) has shown that the words and phrases we choose to use during a negotiation interaction can trigger an emotional reaction in the other party, which can negatively impact the relationship and the outcome of the interaction.   The emotions most likely to be evoked were anger and frustration.  We were not able to find any words that evoked positive emotions.  Of the different types of words and phrases we identified, those that labeled the other party negatively or told the other party what he or she should do, triggered the greatest anger and frustration.  

It is important to recognize the words we use that can trigger these negative emotions in the other party and try to avoid using them.  The following is a list of some of the more common words and phrases that negotiators use that may have a negative impact on the interaction:

“Yes, but…”
“In all due respect…”
“I’m trying to make you understand”
 “Honestly”
“Obviously”
“You should…”
“This is how we have always done it”
“I’m being reasonable”
“This is a good deal”

Holly Schroth, Senior Lecturer, Haas School of Business, UC Berkeley
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Desperate times call for desperate measures. Or do they? Many feel that in order to get an “edge” in negotiation, they need to resort to the use of gambits. Gambits are essentially negotiating tricks that help the negotiator gain value in the short term but damage the long-term relationship and the opportunity to achieve future gains. I do not advocate ever using gambits. However, it is inevitable that you will encounter people who use gambits. As a result it is very important for you to be able to recognize and counter them. Below are some gambits and suggested countermeasures.

Negotiation Gambits: